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  • Writer's pictureAlla Fine

F. E. A. R a four-letter word, yet it has the power to hold one back.

Updated: Jul 17, 2023

What is fear?

Fear is an unpleasant feeling that is brought about by fear of risk or danger.

Fear is also being afraid of a person or thing.

Fear is different from fright which is a response to a prompt danger that requires quick activity.


Fear is a human feeling that is set off by an apparent danger, and so it is a fundamental piece of protecting us.

Fear can be present in all areas of life, especially romantic relationships.

In some relationships fears are normal, while others are all the more powerful and may ruin relationships.

There are various things that could make a person have fear in relationships. It might have to do with previous encounters, particularly childhood experiences.

It could be like a self protection instrument. You don't permit yourself to become helpless or trust in another person since you would rather not get hurt.

It could also be fear of rejection. One might fear rejection since it happened in a previous relationship or you witnessed it happen to other people and you would rather not experience that sort of hurt.

Often, self sabotage occurs when individuals experience fear in dating. Before they realize their partner has an equal interest in them, the fear, self doubt and lack of confidence frightens them away from a potential date.

Ultimately, fear in a relationship can cause it to crash and this crash may be excessively long and difficult — particularly if one individual is attempting to make the relationship work while the other isn't contributing.

Eventually, the individual who is attempting to commit will probably encounter profound hurt, disappointment, outrage, shame, and in the end they abandon the relationship.

A person who fears relationships might encounter sensations of dread and stress.

They might feel bad for themselves for being not able to advance the relationship, and experience guilt since they can see they are harming the other person. Or they could feel disappointed at the other individual for attempting to advance the relationship as opposed to keeping up with the way it is. This has to be handled if the parties involved wish to maintain the relationship.

In this case, it is critical to first understand the cause of the fear.

Maybe you've yet to recover from a past hurt or you're stressed over rehashing a harmful relationship you saw. Investigating the 'why' all alone can be useful alongside speaking to a therapist or a relationship coach.

Another step will be talking it out with your partner. Help them understand your thoughts and feelings. Work together and create supportive patterns that can help you manage the thoughts and feelings around your fear.

In conclusion, fear has the ability to kill your ambitions, goals and dreams, it makes excuses that appear to be authentic enough so that you'll quit making a move and return to your comfort zone.

Understanding the root cause of the fear and facing it headlong can create a path toward success in all areas of life including a relationship.


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